Snowmoon?

Adaptations

DOG at dawn

The dawn attack of chapter 30, told through one character's letters and messages.

Spoilers through chapter 31. This brief quotes and discusses events up to that chapter. Cited passages link into the reader.

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How this was built

Model-drafted working notes, not part of the adaptation: the structure, candidate lines and image descriptions were drafted by the coding agent (a closed model). Approved by FID 6786 on 2026-10-05.

DOG at dawn: script

Approved by FID 6786 on 2026-10-05.

Recorded by the coding agent from the owner's message of that date, with the owner's two edits: beats 2 and 3 merged, and beats 7 and 8 merged (nine beats). Lines are still to be written by the owner.

Changed on the owner's picture notes (round 3, Oct 5, 2026): the word DOG moves off the angled sheets of beat 6 into a new beat 7, one sheet face-on drawn in code; beat 8 gains an overlay version with the Arctic drone's label (ten beats).

Decisions on v3 (Oct 5, 2026): beat 7 approved. Beat 8 shows both images in sequence, the plain render first and then the Arctic drone's view: one after the other on the page, a cut mid-beat in the video. Beat 5 keeps attempt 3's pose and framing and must be night.

Pictures locked as in v6 (owner, Oct 5, 2026): picks.json lists them. No more renders unless the owner asks.

Structure drafted by the coding agent (Claude, a closed model). Drafted from brief.md on Oct 5, 2026, and reworked the same day into the beat format of docs/adaptation-format.md. The agent wrote no narration and no dialogue: those fields are empty until a person writes them. The book lines are candidates, verbatim from the cited blocks.

Full spoilers for chapters 29–31.

Stage: narrated comic (stage 1). Narrator: Kokoro-82M stock voice am_michael (not the house voice; Apache-2.0, checked Oct 5, 2026). Point of view: Deluin (brief §5, question 1); the writer may change it. Length: 10 beats. Narration written so far: 0 words (at most 25 per beat).

What is invented (brief §2, §5):

  • Where Deluin sits during the battle, his room, and the sentries in it (beats 1, 3, 5, 9).
  • That he sees the launch and the base burn (beat 2).
  • How he sends each message (beats 3, 4, 9).
  • What his choices cost him personally, and what he feels about the units he gives away (beats 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9). The book has him say nothing about it.
  • What the Arctic drones' display looks like (beat 8, overlay version).
  • How he gets from the Arctic side to the mountain (beat 10).

Beat 1 · The southern flank

  • who: Deluin; Arctic sentries (Invented: that they share his room)
  • wants: Deluin wants to help the Veridians win without being caught.
  • in the way: He is watched: "We are being heavily surveilled" (c29-b114).
  • cost: His place among the Arctics, earned with his Minpentai record and his parents' status (c29-b114), is what he stands to lose. (Invented: what exposure would mean for him and his parents; the book does not say.)
  • what changes: We know where he stands: an Arctic commander working for the other side.
  • context:
    • c29-b114: his first message; he commands the southern flank.
    • c12-b70, c31-b5: how he looks.
    • (Invented: his post, his room, the sentries; the book never places him, brief §2.)
  • book lines:
    • c29-b114 This is Deluin.
    • c29-b114 Over these past months, I have been executing on my plan.
    • c29-b114 I am now one of the commanders on the Arctic side.
    • c29-b114 We are being heavily surveilled, and there are great limits to what I can do to the Arctic drone fleet without blowing my cover.
  • image: Night. Deluin, from his design board profile, sits alone at an Arctic console in a narrow room of pale faceted panels, his face lit cold blue. Behind frosted glass, two sentries stand as faceless silhouettes. (Invented: his post and room.)
  • lettering: none
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 2 · Sundown to midnight

  • who: the Veridian drone fleet; Zei, Bai and Mu on the hill, then Zei and Mu at the command screen; Den (unseen); Deluin (Invented: watching from the Arctic side)
  • wants: The Veridians want to break the Arctic line and recover Northglade (c29-b21–c29-b36). When it goes wrong, Zei wants to hold the line.
  • in the way: Arctic traps in the forest and an Arctic fleet that adapts (c29-b63, c29-b91–c29-b102); then Arctic missiles, guided by "internal traitors" who "revealed the location of the base" (c29-b108).
  • cost: Drones lost before the main fighting begins (c29-b63). Rear base #3 and almost everyone in it; Den's survival is put under 10% (c29-b108). (Invented: for Deluin, watching an attack on his own side that he has not yet chosen to help, and whether he knows Den was there; brief §2.)
  • what changes: The battle begins, and by midnight Zei believes it is lost. Mu takes over Group South (c29-b110).
  • context:
    • c29-b36: the order to launch at sundown.
    • c29-b38: the hill, snowy pines, thousands of snow drones, fiber optic cables.
    • c29-b50–c29-b52: the launch.
    • c29-b63: early losses to traps.
    • c29-b55: midnight, Zei and Mu at the command screen.
    • c29-b107–c29-b108: the report.
    • c29-b109–c29-b110: Zei cries; Mu takes Group South.
    • (Invented: the view from the Arctic side; that Deluin sees the fire.)
  • book lines:
    • c29-b36 We launch at sundown. (Lektor)
    • c29-b38 The pine trees were snowy as before.
    • c29-b51 He heard noises of snow drones accelerating outside.
    • c29-b52 The mission had begun.
    • c29-b55 It had just struck midnight.
    • c29-b108 Rear base #3 appears to have been completely destroyed by highly accurate hits from Arctic missiles. (screen)
    • c29-b109 Zei began to cry.
    • c29-b110 But in his heart, he knew that the battle was lost.
  • image: Night, seen through the frosted window of an Arctic console room: the lights of a long line of snow drones crossing snowy forested hills, and far off a large orange fire glowing among dark pines. (Invented: that Deluin sees it.)
  • lettering: none
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 3 · My flank

  • who: Deluin; Zei, receiving (c29-b111–c29-b113)
  • wants: Deluin wants to give Zei a way to win.
  • in the way: Anything he does to the Arctic fleet could blow his cover (c29-b114).
  • cost: He gives away the flank he commands (c29-b114). (Invented: what that means to him, and for the Arctic units under his command; the book does not say.)
  • what changes: Zei has tactics against the southern flank, and a hidden channel back to Deluin (c29-b140).
  • context:
    • c29-b111, c29-b113: the message arrives on Zei's watch and glasses.
    • c29-b114: the message.
    • c29-b140, c15-b55: the steganographic channel and where it began.
    • (Invented: the act of sending; brief §2.)
  • book lines:
    • c29-b111 And at that moment, Zei's watch buzzed.
    • c29-b114 However, I have managed to set up an exploitable weakness for you.
    • c29-b114 This file contains descriptions of tactics that should be effective specifically against the southern flank, which I control.
    • c29-b114 From there, it will be up to you to surround the remaining forces from the south, and recover Northglade.
  • image: Close on Deluin's hand on the console. A thin ribbon of data slips out hidden inside a scrolling stream of pale health-monitor lines.
  • lettering: none
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 4 · The next best thing

  • who: Deluin; Zei, Bai and Emerald on the other end (c29-b122–c29-b140)
  • wants: Deluin wants to be trusted. Bai wants the raw weights of the Arctic drones' model, to run gradient descent attacks (c29-b132–c29-b136).
  • in the way: The weights are "well-protected and only a very small number of people have access to them" (c30-b4), and Zei's side has "no good reason to trust Deluin" (c29-b130).
  • cost: He hands over access to the Arctic simulator and Arctic proxy endpoints in Redshire, and every query risks detection: "Remember to be safe and minimize risk of detection" (c30-b4). (Invented: what it costs him to make the first leap of faith Bai asks for, c29-b130.)
  • what changes: Zei's side can attack the Arctic drones' perception without the weights.
  • context:
  • book lines:
    • c30-b4 I understand your concern and I fully agree that you do currently not have good reason to trust me.
    • c30-b4 Unfortunately, I do not have a way to give you the raw weights of the language models on the drones.
    • c30-b4 But I can give you the next best thing: API access to their simulated environment.
    • c30-b4 Remember to be safe and minimize risk of detection.
    • c29-b130 We have no good reason to trust Deluin. But Deluin has every reason to trust us. (Bai)
  • image: Inside the simulator: ghostly wireframe copies of Arctic drones standing on a grid of light, one small foreign probe moving among them.
  • lettering: none
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 5 · The queries

  • who: Deluin; the Arctic sentries (named in c30-b29, never shown); Zei
  • wants: Deluin wants the attack to run without the sentries noticing.
  • in the way: The queries are visible from inside: "if I can see it, the sentries might be able to as well" (c30-b29).
  • cost: Every query is a trace that could lead back to him. (Invented: what he does to hide them; the book says only that he sees them and sends more proxies.)
  • what changes: Zei's side gets more proxies and is more careful (c30-b29, c30-b30).
  • context:
  • book lines:
    • c30-b29 I can see you are starting to run queries!
    • c30-b29 Though you want to be more careful - if I can see it, the sentries might be able to as well.
    • c30-b29 Here are some more proxy endpoints.
    • c30-b30 Good advice, Zei thought.
  • image: Deluin glances over his shoulder at a sentry's silhouette while faint query traces flicker across his screen.
  • lettering: none
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 6 · Blue

  • who: Veridian human soldiers; Lektor, giving orders; Zei, watching the feeds
  • wants: The Veridians want the patterns on every drone before sunrise.
  • in the way: The clock, and the hands: "Manual dexterity was still a major weakness of AI" (c30-b35), so people must paste the sheets.
  • cost: Human soldiers are brought up toward the front (c30-b35), and the fleet gives up a kilometer to make room (c30-b41).
  • what changes: Every drone is covered in sheets, and Lektor gives the order (c30-b46).
  • context:
  • book lines:
    • c30-b36 Slowly, the sky began to shift from a near-total pitch black to a dark blue that was especially visible in the far east.
    • c30-b36 As the minutes passed, the blue became brighter.
    • c30-b35 Manual dexterity was still a major weakness of AI.
    • c30-b41 The plan was in motion.
    • c30-b46 Action. (Lektor)
  • image: Pre-dawn blue over a snowy forest. Soldiers in pale thermal cloaks press large printed sheets of bright, colorful squiggly patterns onto the flank of a snow drone; behind them, an endless row of snow drones covered in the same sheets.
  • lettering: none. The sheets show pattern only: code-drawn text reads only on flat surfaces facing the viewer, so the word is shown in beat 7.
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 7 · DOG

  • who: Zei, looking through the visual feeds (c30-b47); the sheet itself
  • wants: Zei wants to see what the final attack patterns look like (c30-b47).
  • in the way: Nothing yet; the Arctic drones have not seen them.
  • cost: It is a one-time trick. It works only until the Arctics adapt, and Zei knows they "would adapt soon" (c30-b54).
  • what changes: We see what the Arctic drones will see: squiggles, and the word "DOG".
  • context:
    • c30-b32: the squiggles, "very recognizable and familiar but also completely alien".
    • c30-b47: the final patterns.
    • c30-b54: the Arctics will adapt.
  • book lines:
    • c30-b47 He saw an endless row of snow drones with large pieces of paper plastered on all sides, each paper containing many colorful and squiggly patterns - and in a giant font, the word "DOG".
    • c30-b32 … squiggles and messages that seemed simultaneously very recognizable and familiar but also completely alien.
  • image: One printed sheet, face-on, filling the frame: paper texture, many colourful squiggles, and on a white band, in a giant font, the word DOG. Drawn entirely in code (scripts/draw-panels.py); no image model.
  • lettering: sign, en DOG, in a giant font across the sheet (c30-b47)
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 8 · Ten to one

  • who: both drone fleets; Zei; Deluin (Invented: on the Arctic side when the access is cut)
  • wants: The Veridians want to break through before the Arctics adapt.
  • in the way: The Arctics form defensive circles (c30-b54), and then all access to the simulator is cut (c30-b57).
  • cost: The advantage falls from more than ten to one, to six to one, to one and a half to one (c30-b48, c30-b54, c30-b57). (Invented: whether the cut-off puts Deluin under suspicion, since he gave the access; brief §5, question 3.)
  • what changes: A large part of the Arctic fleet is destroyed, but the front dissolves into a positional battle (c30-b58).
  • context:
  • book lines:
    • c30-b48 Casualty ratios were more than ten to one in the Veridian drone fleet's favor.
    • c30-b52 … tricking your opponent's drones into thinking that your drones are dogs …
    • c30-b54 They had already dropped to six to one.
    • c30-b57 After fifteen minutes, all access to the simulation environment was suddenly cut off.
  • image: Two images in sequence. First, sunrise: the patterned Veridian drones plough through the snow between the trees past dark Arctic drones that sit still or turn aside. Then the same moment as an Arctic drone sees it, with a targeting frame on the nearest drone. On the page, one after the other; in the video, a cut mid-beat. (Invented: what the Arctic drones' display looks like.)
  • lettering: plain version: none. Overlay version: label, en DOG, the Arctic drone's classification, drawn in code as a flat label on the targeting frame (c30-b52: the drones read as dogs)
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 9 · Trust

  • who: Deluin; Zei (c30-b63)
  • wants: Deluin wants to be trusted, and to finish the battle.
  • in the way: The simulator is gone and the advantage has fallen to one and a half to one (c30-b57, c30-b58).
  • cost: He sends the exact coordinates of units on his own flank (c30-b61, c30-b64). Arctic soldiers are on that field (c30-b59). (Invented: what he feels about it; the book has him say nothing, brief §5, question 2.)
  • what changes: Zei trusts him (c30-b63), and Mu breaks through on the south (c30-b67, c30-b72).
  • context:
    • c30-b59: Arctic human soldiers in the field.
    • c30-b60–c30-b61: the message.
    • c30-b63–c30-b64: Zei's thought; the second message arrives.
    • c4-b56–c4-b57: "jie fe hen dzi", glossed "Wish you luck".
    • (Invented: the coordinates message itself; its text is not shown.)
  • book lines:
    • c30-b61 I hope you trust me now.
    • c30-b61 My next message will contain exact coordinates of some of our units on the southern flank, and recommended weak points to attack through.
    • c30-b61 jie fe hen dzi.
    • c30-b63 Of course I trust you, Deluin, he thought.
    • c30-b64 Almost immediately, Zei's watch buzzed again.
  • image: Deluin alone at the console in the first light, his hand above the key that sends the message.
  • lettering: sign, dz jie fe hen dzi, on his screen (c30-b61; gloss "Wish you luck", c4-b57)
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Beat 10 · The mountain

  • who: Deluin, Zei, Bai, Mu
  • wants: Deluin wants to see Zei alive.
  • in the way: (Invented: how he left the Arctic side; the book never shows it, brief §2.)
  • cost: His post among the Arctics. And the tricks from the battle no longer work on Redshire, his home; it will likely not be won back. He hears this on the summit (c31-b57–c31-b59). (Invented: what became of his parents; they are not mentioned after c31-b23.)
  • what changes: He and Zei meet again, two days after the battle.
  • context:
  • book lines:
    • c31-b5 … a young man wearing only a sweater and a light hood climbing up.
    • c31-b8 Deluin raised his head up, saw Zei, and ran up the last twenty meters of the staircase.
    • c31-b10 I'm so happy you're still alive, Zei, and that I can finally see you again. (Deluin)
    • c31-b59 Deluin sighed. An expression of deep sadness filled his eyes.
  • image: A snowy summit stair high above Northglade. Deluin, in a sweater and a light hood, runs up the last steps into Zei's arms.
  • lettering: none
  • narration: (empty until a person writes it)
  • dialogue: (empty until a person writes it)

Shot list

DOG at dawn: shots

What was made for each beat of script.md. Every attempt is a job in content/snowmoon/illustrations/adaptation-dog-dawn.json, so every attempt has a recipe in content/snowmoon/recipes/images/adaptation-dog-dawn.json (FLUX.2 [klein] 4B, open weights, Apache-2.0, run locally; cost $0). Lettering is drawn in code by scripts/letter-images.py; its record is content/snowmoon/recipes/images/adaptation-dog-dawn.lettering.json.

Style: designs/styles/techno-vistas.json as is, for this piece (owner decision, Oct 5, 2026). No night variant yet: the style's bright pastel skies tend to turn night into dusk, so night and pre-dawn are graded in code.

Audio: none yet. Narration waits until the owner has written the lines.

Beat Attempt Seed Render sha256 Seconds Lettering Picked Note
1 1 50011 eeaa218dd9f0 204 — Reads as dusk, not night; three guards
1 2 50012 df5f88d92e1c 217 — Night, but Deluin appears twice
1 3 50013 cb29c85020db 210 — yes Night, one Deluin, two guards behind glass
2 1 50021 a6d7adba7ea4 184 — yes Dusk; graded to night in code
2 2 50022 87b03f22486a 176 — Fire burns a crystalline Arctic building; wrong
3 1 50031 c544644e6e64 170 — Sleeve is not his sweater
3 2 50032 b874adf42825 197 — Rejected by the owner: thumb passes through the screen, stray second hand
4 1 50041 cc6324265344 187 — yes
5 1 50051 2f6b8999512a 207 — Guard stands in the room, not behind glass
5 2 50052 2af39159182e 282 — Rejected by the owner: head faces backward on the body; grade muddy
5 3 50053 003124396bda 282 — yes Prompt changed to a pose with no twist; profile at the console, guard behind glass; dusk, ungraded
6 1 50061 ed1852d227cd 202 — yes
8 1 50071 eb4c88c1d23d 213 DOG, DOG Drones fly rather than plough the snow
8 2 50072 ae06c2ac8e0d 201 — yes Ploughs through snow; no plate, so no city; one megastructure from the style
9 1 50081 ed75695093fd 202 — yes
10 1 50091 bc77355df9da 260 — yes One watcher visible, not two

Total render time: 56.6 minutes on the maintainer's Mac. Total cost: $0 (local, open-weight model).

Beat 7 is not rendered (see below). Beats 2, 3 and 5 now come from hosted open-weight models (below).

Hosted renders (fal.ai)

Recipe: adaptations/dog-dawn/ab-test/recipe.json (endpoint, date, request id, exact prompt, seed, cost, sha256). The post looks like beat 1: pale faceted crystal walls, night through the windows (owner's revision, Oct 5, 2026).

Beat Pick Model Note
2 ab-e-02-a1 ERNIE-Image Turbo Night through the window, fire and drone lights; the room matches beat 1
3 ab-e-03-a1 ERNIE-Image Turbo One hand in the cream sleeve; the warm thread leaves the heartbeat line
5 owner to choose: ab-e-05-a2 (a) or ab-zc-05-a2 (b) ERNIE-Image Turbo, re-prompted / Z-Image Turbo ControlNet from attempt 3 (a) working at the console, faceless silhouette behind frosted glass, starry windows; (b) attempt 3's layout, but the guard stands in a starry window rather than behind frosted glass

Final pass: one Deluin (owner, Oct 5, 2026)

Every panel he is in uses the fixed description in designs/characters/deluin.json (fixed_description), word for word; the hand-only close-up uses its sweater words. Previous versions are kept.

Beat New (candidate) Old (kept) Note
1 ab-e-01-a1 dd-01-a3 (FLUX klein) Alone at the post, two faceless guards behind frosted glass, starry night
3 ab-e-03-a2 ab-e-03-a1 Same seed; hand and thread against pale crystal, starry window
5 ab-e-05-a3 ab-e-05-a2 (the owner's pick, (a)) Same seed and composition; only the character wording changed
9 ab-e-09-a1 + screen (cut) dd-08-a1 + screen (cut) Monitor faces the viewer; screen composited in code; OCR reads every word

Beat 10 also has Deluin and is still FLUX klein; it was not in this pass.

Wording fix (owner's notes, Oct 5, 2026)

Beat 3: ab-e-03-a2 is taken. The fixed description now matches beat 10's outfit (a long cream cable-knit wool tunic to mid-thigh, plain leather belt, hood down; dark green wool trousers; brown leather boots; no zips, drawstrings, pockets or logos) and asks for warm, natural skin, with the screen's light only on the desk and his hands. Beats 1, 5 and 9 re-rendered with the same seeds, changing only those words (attempt limit waived by the owner). The old description is kept in deluin.json (fixed_description_history).

Beat New Previous (kept)
1 ab-e-01-a2 ab-e-01-a1
5 ab-e-05-a4 ab-e-05-a3
9 ab-e-09-a2 + screen (cut; OCR exact at text width 170) ab-e-09-a1 + screen

Hosted spend so far: $0.1363 (A/B and all rounds), cap $1 per round.

Steps in code after the render

Each keeps the clean render and has its own record in content/snowmoon/recipes/images/. Text drawn in code appears only on flat surfaces facing the viewer (owner's notes, round 3).

Beat Pick Steps Record
2 a1 night grade (fire and lamps kept) adaptation-dog-dawn.grade.json
4 a1 sky and towers above the grid filled dark adaptation-dog-dawn.grade.json
6 a1 pre-dawn grade; pattern only, no word adaptation-dog-dawn.grade.json
7 drawn one printed sheet, face-on, drawn entirely in code: paper, squiggles, DOG; OCR exact adaptation-dog-dawn.drawn.json
8 a2 plain; and an overlay version, the Arctic drone's view with a code-drawn label DOG; OCR exact adaptation-dog-dawn.drawn.json
9 a1 the book's screen c30-b61, captured from the reader's template, composited with glow and spill; the cut version (first line … sign-off) adaptation-dog-dawn.screens.json

Superseded and kept on record: DOG lettered on angled sheets (beats 6 and 8, adaptation-dog-dawn.lettering.json), sheets laid on drone bodies (adaptation-dog-dawn.sheets.json), four model repaints all rejected by OCR (adaptation-dog-dawn.harmonise.json), and the full-length screen on beat 9.

Deluin's post has a location plate: designs/locations/arctic-command-post.json (invented; its plate's recipe is in recipes/images/locations.json). The forest plate itself holds the city, so beat 6 keeps it; beat 8's render did not use the plate, and the style still adds one megastructure.

Show the brief

Seed brief: DOG at dawn

Full spoilers for chapters 12–31.

The adaptation: the dawn counterattack of chapter 30, told through Deluin's voice. The book carries that voice in four forms: his letter (c19-b153), his messages during the battle (c29-b114, c30-b4, c30-b29, c30-b61), his spoken account on the mountain (c31-b10–c31-b63), and his earlier conversations with Zei (c12, c14, c15).

Source: the committed chapter text in content/snowmoon/text/. Block IDs are c<chapter>-b<idx>. Dates are from the datelines: the battle runs from the evening of 3725 Snowmoon 29 (c29-b1) through Snowmoon 30 (c29-b54, c30-b1). The mountain meeting is 3725 Rainmoon 2 (c31-b1), "two days" after the battle by Zei's count (c31-b27).

1. Citations

Events

What Blocks
Battle plan: four groups, Zei supervising every front c29-b21–c29-b36
Launch at sundown c29-b36, c29-b50–c29-b52
First clash and early success c29-b57–c29-b79
Arctics adapted to Zei's tactics c29-b91–c29-b102
Rear base #3 destroyed; Den's survival put under 10%; Mu takes Group South c29-b107–c29-b110
Deluin's first message (southern flank) c29-b111–c29-b114
Emerald authenticates the key and simulates the tactics c29-b116–c29-b121
Bai's counter-request: raw weights; the gradient-descent plan c29-b122–c29-b140
Slow retreat through the night c30-b2, c30-b19
Deluin offers simulator access instead of weights c30-b3–c30-b4
Fin, the Bansunpei and Emerald build the query pipeline c30-b5–c30-b18
First results: 5%, then 11% c30-b20–c30-b27
Deluin sees the queries and warns about sentries c30-b28–c30-b30
Simulator checked against a real night skirmish; detection time doubles, then doubles again c30-b31–c30-b33
Printing set up two kilometers back; human soldiers move up to paste c30-b34–c30-b35
Pre-dawn sky; patterns shipped c30-b36–c30-b39
Groups report equipped; Lektor: "Action." c30-b41–c30-b46
The DOG patterns; casualty ratios above ten to one c30-b47–c30-b48
Zei remembers Den c30-b50–c30-b53
Ratio falls to six to one; Arctics form defensive circles; new attacks that need no printing c30-b54–c30-b56
Simulator access cut; ratio falls to one and a half to one c30-b57–c30-b59
"I hope you trust me now"; coordinates sent; forwarded to Mu c30-b60–c30-b67
Southern breakthrough, Vakaria to Northglade, encirclement, Thaldur taken c30-b68–c30-b75
Zei sleeps c30-b76
Two days later: Deluin climbs the mountain and hugs Zei c31-b2–c31-b10

Deluin's voice, in order

Form Blocks
First meeting, joking about his name c12-b71, c12-b75, c12-b78, c12-b80, c12-b82
After his semi-final c14-b97
On Dzegoban, "in a lecturing tone" c14-b114, c14-b118
Invitation to Redshire; beautiful nature takes human work c14-b120, c14-b126–c14-b127, c14-b130
Messages out of occupied Redshire c15-b53, c15-b55, c15-b58, c15-b67, c15-b68, c15-b72, c15-b114
The letter c19-b153 (the identity question that guards it: c19-b117)
Battle messages c29-b114, c30-b4, c30-b29, c30-b61 (his second message, with coordinates, is received at c30-b64; its text is not shown)
Spoken account on the mountain c31-b10, c31-b12, c31-b16, c31-b18, c31-b20–c31-b24, c31-b26, c31-b28, c31-b30, c31-b32, c31-b34–c31-b35, c31-b37, c31-b41–c31-b44, c31-b46–c31-b49, c31-b51–c31-b52, c31-b56, c31-b63 (c31-b61 and c31-b62 are unattributed)

Dialogue around him

Setting

Objects

  • Printers and stick-on paper carried into battle: c29-b39–c29-b40, c30-b17, c30-b34.
  • The patterns: c30-b32 (squiggles "very recognizable and familiar but also completely alien"), c30-b47 (colorful squiggles and, in a giant font, the word "DOG"), c30-b52 (the drones read as dogs).
  • Snow drones, Arctic and Veridian: c29-b38, c29-b65, c30-b19.
  • Thermal cloaks: c30-b59.
  • Zei's kit: neck band, display glasses and watch at c29-b113; energy drink at c29-b106; reclining console chair at c30-b76.
  • Deluin's signing key: first embedded in his Grapetime 15 message (c29-b117).
  • His Redshire method (stolen watches, a non-transmitting room, inert storage, chemically destroyed circuits): c19-b153.
  • The covert channel for his messages: "the same steganographic channel" (c29-b140). It began as the Arctic soldier's health-data relay (c15-b55), which Zei improved (c15-b61, c15-b64, c15-b114).

Screens and figures

Language

  • "jie fe hen dzi" (Deluin's sign-off, c30-b61): the same words Fin sends Zei at c4-b56, glossed there as "Wish you luck" (c4-b57).
  • "dze go ba fau gie" (the letter's sign-off, c19-b153): glossed "Dzego will rise again" (c2-b130–c2-b131).
  • "mi fu zo de tei ka ciu pin": "when I am defeated, I feel like I won" (c31-b28).

2. What the text gives and what an adapter must invent

Given

  • The full text of every battle message Deluin sends (c29-b114, c30-b4, c30-b29, c30-b61). The exception is the coordinates message, which is received (c30-b64) but not shown.
  • The order of events and most timings on Zei's side: launch at sundown (c29-b36), midnight (c29-b55), the night retreat (c30-b2), patterns shipped near sunrise (c30-b37), access cut after fifteen minutes (c30-b57), encirclement a longhour after sunrise (c30-b72), quiet by late afternoon (c30-b75).
  • The casualty ratios: above 10:1 (c30-b48), then 6:1 (c30-b54), then 1.5:1 (c30-b57).
  • What Deluin says he is: one of the Arctic commanders, heavily surveilled, controlling the southern flank (c29-b114).
  • What Deluin can see: the queries against the simulator (c30-b29).
  • His own later summary of how he rose: c31-b22–c31-b37.

To invent

  • Deluin's physical position during the battle. The text never places him. He says he controls the southern flank (c29-b114) and is "heavily surveilled". Nothing says where he sits, who sits with him, or how he types without being seen.
  • How he sends each message. The text gives the channel (c29-b140) but not the act.
  • The coordinates message (c30-b64). Its words, and what sending "exact coordinates of some of our units" (c30-b61) means for the Arctic units and people under his command. Arctic human soldiers are on the field (c30-b59).
  • The Arctic side of the dawn. What the Arctic drones and operators see when the DOG patterns arrive, and who cuts off the simulator (c30-b57).
  • Whether Deluin knows that Den has died. The base is destroyed just before his first message (c29-b108, c29-b111).
  • How Deluin gets from Arctic commander to the mountain stair two days later (c31-b5). The book never shows him leave, defect, or be recovered. His mountain account covers Grapetime to his promotion (c31-b22–c31-b34) and stops before the battle.
  • His parents during and after the battle. They were offered a Glasscrown post (c31-b23) and were bound for Arctic core territory (c19-b153). They are not mentioned after c31-b23.

Conflicts between the text and the seeded art

The seeded illustration prompts for this scene say the sheets carry "bright, colorful abstract squiggly patterns with no writing" (content/snowmoon/illustrations/chapter-30.json, job c30-b041-sticking-patterns) and "colorful abstract squiggly patterns" (job c30-b048-drones-surge). The text puts the word "DOG" on them in a giant font (c30-b47).

3. Who is in it

The design board's about fields say that every character look on the board is invented except for the facts listed. The "Looks" column below gives only what the text says.

Person Looks (text) Sound (text)
Deluin "An older teenage boy" (c12-b70). Two days after the battle, "a young man wearing only a sweater and a light hood" climbing a snowy stair (c31-b5). He runs the last twenty meters (c31-b8) and nearly knocks Zei over with a hug (c31-b9). "An expression of deep sadness filled his eyes" (c31-b59). Joking about his own name (c12-b75, c12-b78). Speaks "in a lecturing tone" (c14-b118). Reflective at length (c14-b126–c14-b127). Teasing (c14-b130, c31-b26). Gives aphorisms: "Always take the dumb 1000x gain before the super-clever 2x gain" (c15-b67). Plain gratitude: "Thank you for caring about me" (c15-b72). The letter is formal, apologetic and long ("I greatly apologize", "Your dear friend Deluin", c19-b153). Battle messages are clipped and operational (c29-b114, c30-b4). One exclamation: "I can see you are starting to run queries!" (c30-b29). Signs off in Dzegoban: "jie fe hen dzi" (c30-b61) and "dze go ba fau gie" (c19-b153). On the mountain: dry ("Are you sure you want it told at the top of a cold snowy mountain?", c31-b18), quotes an old poem (c31-b28), analyzes the Arctics (c31-b37), and admires Glasscrown (c31-b42–c31-b44).
Zei White-and-grey jacket (c29-b2). Sweats (c29-b102), cries (c29-b109), and sleeps in a reclined console chair (c30-b76). Whispers orders into his neck band (c29-b110, c29-b113). Terse ("Do it.", c29-b101). Thinks rather than says "Of course I trust you, Deluin" (c30-b63). "It's your chance to shine, Mu." (c30-b66).
Bai Hugs Zei on the hill (c29-b7–c29-b9, c29-b16). Skeptical and analytic: "they are grown, not forged. They don't have walls, they have immune systems" (c29-b134).
Mu An older woman (c4-b62). White-and-grey jacket (c29-b2). Pats the tea robot's head (c29-b48). Calm and dry: "nothing meaningful ever happens when people are ready" (c29-b5). "Then let's do it" (c30-b39). "Don't forget Vakaria." (c30-b67).
Fin Not described in these chapters. Quick and willing: "Alright Zei, what do you need?" (c30-b7, c30-b9).
Lektor Middle-aged; a shirt styled like traditional military attire (c28-b13). Shouts the charge (c29-b82–c29-b85). Gives the dawn order "softly but firmly. 'Action.'" (c30-b46).
Emerald (AI) No body. Speaks through Zei's devices. Flat and probabilistic (c29-b100, c29-b117, c29-b119, c29-b121).
Bansunpei researchers Unnamed, about ten in a chat (c30-b10). Technical and upbeat (c30-b21, c30-b23, c30-b25–c30-b27, c30-b37).
Vakaria Not described. Reports the Northglade villagers' help (c30-b45).
Den Already dead in this stretch. Earlier: a priest's shadowy cloak (c9-b52). Recalled line (c30-b51). Battle cry (c29-b86).
Deluin's parents Never described or named. Their position is reported in c19-b153 and c31-b22–c31-b23.
Arctic sentries, officers, soldiers The text gives no faces. Officers visit the house (c31-b22). Sentries could see the queries (c30-b29). Human soldiers repair drones in the distance (c30-b59). None.

4. Design board and source figures

Characters (content/snowmoon/designs/characters/):

  • deluin.json: its facts cite c12-b70, c12-b72, c12-b75, c14-b118, c14-b120 and c31-b5.
  • zei.json, bai.json, mu.json, fin.json, lektor.json and den.json.
  • Every entry is marked "starting point".
  • There are no entries for Emerald, Vakaria, Gallowar, Telpo or Deluin's parents.

Locations (content/snowmoon/designs/locations/):

  • elenar-forest-front.json: its facts include c30-b36 and c30-b47.
  • bunker-command-post.json: its facts include c29-b55 and c30-b76.
  • There are no entries for the Northglade summit (c31-b2–c31-b5), Glasscrown (c31-b42–c31-b44), or wherever Deluin sits during the battle.

Styles: styles/techno-vistas.json and styles/watercolor.json are the two marked "starting point".

Source figures (docs/source-figures/):

  • c29-b34.svg: the plan map, labelled with the four groups and Northglade.
  • c29-b59.svg, c29-b78.svg, c29-b81.svg, c30-b49.svg, c30-b70.svg: maps labelled "Northglade".
  • c29-b68.svg, c29-b74.svg: unlabelled; dot fields in blue and red.

Seeded illustrations (content/snowmoon/illustrations/, all listed in published.json):

  • c29-b021-briefing-room, c29-b038-drones-at-sundown, c29-b070-copters-launch and c29-b109-zei-weeps.
  • c30-b036-blue-before-dawn, c30-b041-sticking-patterns, c30-b048-drones-surge and c30-b076-zei-sleeps.
  • c31-b002-mountain-stair and c31-b009-reunion-hug.
  • For the conflict over the DOG lettering, see section 2.

Pronunciation (content/snowmoon/pronunciation.json): entries exist for "Deluin", "Glasscrown", "Northglade", "jie fe hen dzi", "dze go ba fau gie" and "mi fu zo de tei ka ciu pin".

5. Open creative questions

  1. Where does Deluin's voice live? It could stay in the forms the book gives (letter, messages, retelling), with the night shown only through what he writes. Or the adaptation could put him on the page at his Arctic post, inventing the room, the watchers and the act of sending (see section 2).
  2. What does the dawn cost him? He sends his own units' coordinates (c30-b61, c30-b64), and Arctic people die on the field (c30-b59, c30-b75). How much of that does Deluin see, and does he say anything about it? The book has him say nothing about it.
  3. How does it end? The book jumps from "jie fe hen dzi" (c30-b61) to the sweater on the mountain stair (c31-b5). The simulator was cut off (c30-b57) while he was the one feeding it. Was he suspected, and how did he get out?

6. Suggested length and beats

Suggestion only. A short story of 3,500–5,000 words, or a 12–15 minute audio piece in Deluin's first person. Where the book gives his words, quote them verbatim.

  1. Prologue, Grapetime. The letter written in a non-transmitting room with stolen watches (c19-b153).
  2. Snowmoon 29, sundown. The Veridian launch, seen from the Arctic side (c29-b50–c29-b52). (The Arctic side is invented.)
  3. Night. Rear base #3 struck (c29-b108). He sends the southern-flank message (c29-b114).
  4. Zei's reply asks for the raw weights (c29-b140). He can't send them; he sends simulator keys and proxies instead (c30-b4).
  5. The queries start. He sees them and warns about the sentries (c30-b28–c30-b29).
  6. Dawn. DOG on every drone (c30-b47). The breakthrough at more than ten to one (c30-b48).
  7. Access cut (c30-b57). The danger to his cover. (Invented.)
  8. "I hope you trust me now. … jie fe hen dzi." (c30-b61). The coordinates (c30-b64).
  9. Coda, Rainmoon 2. The stair, the sweater and the hug (c31-b5–c31-b10). "I'm so happy you're still alive, Zei."